What is what to do when your husband contradicts everything you say?

It can be incredibly frustrating when your husband constantly contradicts you. It can feel dismissive, invalidating, and erode your sense of self-worth. Here's a breakdown of what you can do:

• Recognize the Pattern: The first step is acknowledging this is a pattern of behavior. Is it happening frequently? In all situations? Identifying the extent helps you address it more effectively.

• Stay Calm and Breathe: In the moment, it's easy to get defensive or angry. Take a deep breath and try to remain calm. Reacting emotionally can escalate the situation.

• Call Him Out (Gently, at First): In a non-confrontational way, point out the behavior. You could say something like, "I notice that you often disagree with what I say, even when we seem to be on the same page. Is that something you're aware of?". Do this when you are alone and calm.

• Ask "Why?" (Specifically): Instead of getting into a debate about what you said, focus on why he disagrees. "I'm curious, why do you see it that way?" or "What makes you say that?" This can help you understand his perspective and potentially uncover the root cause of his need to contradict.

• Set Boundaries: Clearly communicate that his constant contradiction is hurtful and unacceptable. Explain how it makes you feel and what you need from him instead. "When you disagree with everything I say, it makes me feel dismissed. I need you to listen to me without automatically criticizing or opposing."

• Choose Your Battles: Not every disagreement is worth fighting over. Sometimes, letting a minor contradiction go is the best approach to maintain peace. Save your energy for issues that are truly important.

• Focus on Facts, Not Opinions: When possible, ground your statements in facts and evidence. This can make it harder for him to simply dismiss what you're saying.

• Consider the Underlying Reasons: Is he insecure? Does he feel the need to be "right" all the time? Is he dealing with stress or other issues that are affecting his behavior? Understanding the underlying cause can help you approach the situation with more empathy.

• Positive Reinforcement: When he does listen and validate your perspective, acknowledge and appreciate it. "Thank you for listening and understanding where I'm coming from."

• "I Feel" Statements: Express your feelings without blaming him. For example, instead of saying "You always dismiss my opinions," say "I feel dismissed when my opinions are automatically contradicted."

• Seek Counseling: If the problem persists and is significantly impacting your relationship, consider couples counseling. A therapist can help you both communicate more effectively and address any underlying issues. Individual therapy for either of you may also be beneficial. Explore the possibilities of seeking professional%20help.

• Evaluate Your Relationship: If, despite your best efforts, the constant contradiction continues and is deeply damaging to your well-being, you may need to evaluate the long-term viability of the relationship. Consider if the behavior falls under emotional%20abuse.